Such mixed, varied state of emotions. I can't understand things any longer. Actually I understand everything and nothing at the same time.
There is no 'purpose' to life. That is fine. The only way to realise anything is to realise that there is no purpose.
There is a will to live. To survive first, then live, then be happy if there is time and resources.
I've changed so much. I was a kid with a purpose. I was a good kid with a purpose. Obedient, intelligent and very understanding. I was adventurous and comfortable left alone. Very intuitive yet very methodical. Not creative. Actually, nothing has changed. Only there is no 'purpose' strong enough. And that has gone mostly with waning of parental influence.
My heart tingles with excitement in dark quiet alleys, it has always done, even as a kid. Every morning and evening, I love walking by and gazing at the river, as if its something new. Even as people whizz by not noticing or caring if they were crossing a bridge with silver water, gulls and pretty boats, or crossing an underground tunnel. I look at the vast sky, golden orange tinge of the setting sun behind the clouds and want to jump up and over the farthest cloud. It remains as fuckin pretty as ever.
Thought to myself today - "Life is short, but nothing needs to be done about it"
3 comments:
being happy has nothing to do with wanting to live, survive or having the means and resources for that end.
One can survive, live and happy ample resources, enough means- but happiness can still evade him.
Happiness will come only if the heart responds to God. It might be unfashionable, embarassing or escapist as some would say, but happiness comes with bliss. Not a holier than thou evangelical zeal but a quiet realisation that happiness is a non material thing.
Yes, even those without bread can be happy; comrades notwithstanding.
....however, there is an underlying sentiment of cynicism in the first couple of lines that is rather disturbing...
I really would not like to discover what caused it..
mebbe i already have.. lol
happiness comes with bliss ... indeed! So much heard seen and done and that is where i reach everytime ... happiness comes with bliss ... amen!
Post a Comment