Its a fuckin' funny world...

Its a fuckin funny world out there..
Another first happened today. Got invited to a birthday party, and was asked to share the bill! Now that was new, for me.
Anyway, its the people. Funny people. More and more you interact with them, more and more this world appears so fuckin irritating. Irritating world full of irritating people.
Greedy people. Jealous people. Selfish people. Complicated people.
The conversation with Anu in the evening was so wierd, as he was so distracted. I tried to laugh, but then I snapped, as usual. Soon he suggested we talk later in the night, but then neither of us called or messaged each other during the night. I have hundreds of possibilities running in my mind as to why he was distracted, and complicated as he is, he wont tell me straight away. It may be something I said yesterday, the thread of conversation we did not complete, or something he remembered or something at home or getting back to me as I may have been distracted last couple of conversations or my last post maybe... I don't know. And that keeps irritating me further.
I sometimes strongly feel I don't belong in this culture, here. But I feel I belong in no culture. I carry the burden of a lack of strong personality and a lack of self-assured ideas.
People are ready to assault you always. Be it the woman having marital problems and attention seeking disorder making nasty comments at everyone to evoke reaction, or the person in office sending you a rude email when you thought he was a nice gentle sort of a character, to your colleagues who sometimes bring a tinge of racism (or just groupism) even if it isnt so deliberate, or the oh-so-formal or eternally jabbing friends, I am getting a tad sick of everything.
Well, I dont know if I really mean it, but I don't care. Ya, only so much that I am writing about it.

Networking

Gay Networking, had a first ever experience a few weeks ago when we went to the LGBT movie festival followed by the Interbank drinks event the next week.
It was good to know richer gay people for a change, and encouraging that people were comfortable and open in their workplaces, so much so that they came out to network with other gay men and women.
The thought at the back of my mind was of continous doubt as to the exact intention why people were attending these events in the first place. Especially at the interbank, the attendees were 99% men, which left me wondering whether it was a hunting ground for posh flesh hunters. Some of this doubt was concretized this saturday after our dinner with one of the new contacts I had met there. There was a certain desperation in the manner of this respected gentleman that left a seriously bad taste in the mouth, although I did receive my share of flak for being a "cock-tease" which I have been accused of being many times before by others as well, in subtle hints if not directly. However, there were few people at the event who were there for the purpose of serious social networking with similar people in similar industry, and if individuals do decide that they fancy one another for a steamy session under the covers, that's there own sweet will and no one else's business.
I must say I did meet a few interesting and friendly people on both occasions, and had a good time dining with one of the married couples from the movie nite, later on. Married for ten years, they were the first and only married gay couple in London I know till date.
This, of course, will give me a good platform to build upon, if I indeed decide to stay on in London and look for better and varied career opportunities in Financial services industry. I do have to work a tad harder to get my act together in terms being well verse with all aspects of the domain I am involved with currently.
One crazy thing that dawns upon you is that with such networking events happening, where you are able to identify higher positioned individuals in the industry who may be attracted to you sexually, it may become possible for good looking associates and analysts to sleep their way up the ladder to good positions and good money. And I thought it was only the fashion or media where such a thing was a possibility!

Now, what?

Now, there is a drift,
Now, there is a stir,
As the pieces fall in place,
So the picture is ablur.
Now, there're reasons to be nice,
Now, feelings spiral out-of-control,
As the days looked-forward-to approach,
In the stack of hay, we roll.
We see, we love, we think,
We say we think we love,
What's happened is clear but how,
Do we care for what's in store?
All we care is here and now.